Why hello Mr. Sawyer

So, I had my first encounter of the bug kind. Well, maybe that is not true. There were these tiny worms in my bathroom about a week ago that I have no idea where they came from. I have a European bathroom that doesn’t have a tub or a curtain so it’s a bit damp all the time, so the little worms were kind of expected. However, this is a matter all of its own.

A huge, reddish-brown beefy 2-inch long, quick, scurrying, flying, sawyer beetle was in my bathroom. Honestly, look that sucker up. Apparently they can get to be more than 3 inches long. I almost cried. I literally screamed.

I have to tell you, the walls of this apartment are pretty damn thin. I could hear the people in the hallway gasping and talking (yet I had no idea what they were saying) about the fact that I was screaming in my apartment. This is probably one of my most girl moments. I hate bugs.

But as much as I hate bugs, I didn’t want to kill it. As it scurried and hid under my toothpaste, it looked as terrified as I was… almost. I was far more panicked because it at least had enough sense to stay in one place while I was running around frantically trying to find something to catch it in. I didn’t want to harm the damn thing, I just wanted to get it out of my apartment! And what if I squished it? Would its babies come out and create 100,000 tiny sawyer beetles that will infest the apartment for the next 2 weeks I’m here?

This is why I need roommates… big strong male roommates that will just take a shoe and squish the threatening bugs before I can protest their right to live. Instead, I called my father and whined. He laughed at me and told me to kill it. Told me to pick up my shoe and kill it. So I did. I’m sorry Mr. Sawyer. Let it be a warning to your friends – do not mess with Dawn.

But now of course I feel like I have bugs crawling all over me. I inspected the entire apartment. To my naked eye I do not see any other of it’s kind or any other – thank god. But I still want to whine… so I did so to my dear friend Andy P (thank you for listening) and to Traci's wall and to all those out there on my Facebook who can read my status.

I hate bugs. Please let this be my last encounter with the big bug kind.