Xin Shen

I feel like it’s justified to have an entire entry devoted to this kid name Xin (pronounced Shin). Ever since I met this kid my life got a little more interesting.

Xin is Mr. Shen’s (my boss, the GM of the company) cousin. He stopped in one day and stayed for about an hour just chatting with Mr. Shen and I. He was a nice guy, and what is better that he just came back from a 3 year stint in New York. He lived in Flushing and went to Queens College. He knew what BJs is and what exit off the LIE I lived. Even though his English was not perfect, it was nice to talk to some that knew my neck of the woods.

So he gave me his card and told me that if I ever wanted to be shown around to give him a call. Most people did that for me… it is sweet but I’m far too shy just to take someone up on their offer, especially when I hardly knew them. But for Xin it was a little different. We talked all about NY, how he followed his girlfriend there and perhaps going back in a year or so. We talked about Chinese food in China vs Chinese food in America, and he knew that I did not want to try fish heads, even when I said I wanted to try traditional Chinese cuisine. We got along, and it was nice nice to have a new friend.

So when Xin said that another one of his friends just came back from New York and they were going to throw a party, I was quite excited. I gave him my phone number and told him to give me the details. Shortly after he texted me to get my MSN name. And then he called me because I didn’t see his MSN friend request. And then he messaged me on. When he signed off Mr. Shen messaged me to tell me that he was having problems with MSN. Why is my boss messaging me to tell me his cousin was having problems with his computer? That’s just weird, right? I was just going about my daily life… kind of bored, granted, because there was not much work to be done… but I wasn’t asking for this kid to keep in constant contact with me!

And so then a little while later he signed on again and was super chatty. It wouldn’t have been so bad except that the font he was using was not letters, it was not Chinese characters… it was one of those random shape fonts that you have to copy & paste and change the font to read. Super annoying. That and he used a mixture of broken English and slang… so at times it was pretty confusing. It was like a game: guess what I’m trying to say.

And then he started to hit on me. L Libon asked me how old he was and I didn’t know, so I decided to ask him. He had me guessed a little younger than me because he just finished college. So I guessed 22… and I was wrong. He said he was much older, so I guessed 27. Wrong again. He told me he was 31.

I have come to realize that sometimes they like to play these games… the ‘lets see if the American can figure out I’m lying to her’ games… and so I called his bluff. HE ended up admitting that he was 25… and me at 23 (year of the tiger, boys & girls) was the perfect age for him. And here I’m thinking that this kid is head over heals for a girl back in the States! What is he calling me ‘the perfect age for him’ for?!

Upon inquiry, he tried to explain to me what happened with his ex. They had broken up because of parental issues. How he explained it was that her mother tried to sell her, and his father did not want to buy. I may have misunderstood, because I didn’t know that there were still dowries in this country!… but this one of the many reasons why I do not want to get involved with a Chinese man! So, I dropped the boyfriend card. It is a handy little card that us females are able to drop, whether true or not, to let those young men know we are not available to them. I do not want to play the “I’m just not interested in you” game with my boss’s cousin. Best just not be available.

And so, he took note, and we continued to talk. He told me that his cousin wanted us to hang out because I am all on my own here without friends, and I am not paid enough so might as well show me a good time. Frankly, I’d prefer a pay increase. I was also told that since I was a girl, I needed to be cared for and entertained. It was a sweet thought for someone who doesn’t know me – I know that his heart was in the right place – but as the feminist that I am, I know I do not need to be coddled. I am grateful for people trying to help, but I don’t need to be looked after. I’m a female of 23 years old – I’m an adult, and I’ll do just fine taking care of myself… but I did not say that. I am in a foreign country and they’re trying to show me hospitality… I should accept it, right?

So after a long chat, I left work and headed home. I was not feeling so hot, tummy ache and head ache… so I headed straight home for a nap. After a while I realized that I was down to my last piece of bread and no milk. Even though I wasn’t hungry, I knew that I would be hungry tomorrow… and I had no milk for cereal (one of the three meals that I make for myself). So I got my butt up and dressed and made my way to the supermarket. Each time I visit the damn place I feel like they offer more and more. Today I discovered the beauty isle (where I was able to pick up some mouse) and the fresh produce section. They even have some fruits and veggies imported, which I’m sure my mother would like to hear!

And then things get even more interesting… I get back from the supermarket and I see that I have a missed call from Xin. So I send him a text saying I’m sorry that I missed his call, whats up? And he calls me again and tells me that he made reservations for the club(?). We are apparently going to go out to dinner with his cousin (my boss, who does not speak any English) and his cousin’s girlfriend… just the four of us. I was confused and flabbergasted! When I said yes to this little meeting originally, he said that he was going to a party to celebrate his friend coming from New York. Who is this friend and why isn’t he joining us?

I feel like I was tricked. I hate being tricked… and I certainly don’t want to go on a date! L “Perhaps it’s not what I think.” I try to tell myself… “It could just be a few people hanging out with the intention of just being friendly.” But at last I finally circum to the possibility that it is exactly what I think. And there is no way of getting out of it. I cannot cancel on my boss. That would be incredibly disrespectful to someone who has been nothing but nice to me. And at the worse it is just one night of awkwardness.

I feel like I’m the only one who’d get their self into a situation like this. How did I get myself into such a mess?!